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To All The Stuff I Loved Before

October 9, 2018
To All The Stuff I Loved Before_ Tiny Ambitions

To all the stuff I loved before. It’s not your fault that you didn’t complete me or make me whole. It’s not your fault that I lost interest and discarded you in search of something newer. You’re just stuff – you didn’t decide to come into my life and clutter it up. I made that decision all on my own. I am ready to take ownership of that.  It was time for me to be true to myself. I’m sorry that my new life didn’t include you. But I needed to say goodbye. 

To all of the clothes I no longer own. It’s not your fault you didn’t fit anymore. It’s not your fault you couldn’t make me like myself. You can’t portray an image of myself to the world that just isn’t true. You’re just clothes, not a magician. I wish I could have kept you. I wish I could have found more uses for you. It’s not your fault I stopped going dancing on weekends. I traded my heels in for Blundstones. I left that part of my life behind. I traded in cute party dresses for yoga pants. Too many yoga pants, I would later discover. It was time for me to be true to myself.

To all the beauty products I let go of. I’m sorry I was never the beauty guru you wanted me to be. I just could never get the hang of eyeliner. Also, sorry eyes, for poking you during this process. It’s not your fault you couldn’t transform me into the cool girl who always had her hair and makeup done just so. That’s not me. I’m always going to be the person who considers a full-face of makeup to be a little bit of foundation and mascara. That’s who I am.  It was time for me to be true to myself.

To all the books that I found new homes for. It’s not for lack of amazing story-telling that I donated you to local library’s or friends. You’re an amazing work of art. I’ll treasure the time we spent together forever. You took me around the world and to made up lands where my imagination was allowed to run wild. You taught me new things about the world we live in. You taught me new things about myself. You made me laugh. You made me cry. I’m sorry I could never re-read you. I hope you’re enjoying your new homes. 

To all of the relationships I left behind. I’ve never been good at maintaining connections. That’s on me. It’s not because I didn’t value your friendship or partnership. It’s just because time moves on. People move on. Never forget how awesome you are. Just because you’re not part of my life anymore doesn’t mean our time together wasn’t special. Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But it was the right thing to do.

To the old me from before. You’ve got this. You’re going to make changes and compromises and sacrifices you didn’t know you would be capable of. It’s going to be worth it. You’re being too hard on yourself. Everything is going to work out. It always has. You’ll look back on this time and realize how just how much you’ve accomplished. Be proud of yourself. You’re stronger than you can imagine. Give yourself some grace and be kind. Especially on tough days.

I’m grateful for everything you have given me.

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  • Danielle Ogilve November 6, 2018 at 3:54 am

    I want to see how you’ll react to this 5 years down the line. I feel like it would be very interesting to read a letter to your future self from your past self

    • Britt November 6, 2018 at 6:49 am

      Absolutely! I’m sure I’ll feel very differently five years down the road. Or maybe I’ll fee th same! Only time will tell.

  • Abigail @ipickuppennies October 12, 2018 at 12:47 pm

    I’m pretty bad at maintaining friendships as soon as the least obstacle comes up, especially if that obstacle is distance. This bothers me, but I’ve also accepted that this is just part of who I am.

    Also, I’ve never gotten the hang of eyeliner either. Glad to know I’m not alone.

    • Britt October 12, 2018 at 2:37 pm

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with relationships. I think society is partly to blame for the guilt though – all relationships are supposed to ‘last forever’, but that’s not realistic. Some friendships only make sense during a period of your life. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we can make room in our lives for the relationships that make the most sense in the present moment. Thanks for reading, Abigail!

  • Erin | Reaching for FI October 12, 2018 at 11:59 am

    Ooh this is lovely and it seems like it could definitely be a very cathartic exercise! I’m still having trouble with my clothes and letting go of books (even books I don’t own, but that are on my to-read list. But two years later am I really going to get around to that book?). And love that you included your past self here. It’s so hard to let go of the person we thought we were or needed to be to make room for who we really are!

    • Britt October 12, 2018 at 2:38 pm

      Thanks, Erin! It was so cathartic – I highly recommend it. My book to read list is also impossibly long. I actually just went through it today and got rid of books that I know wouldn’t make sense to read anymore.

      And I’m also a big fan of letting go of your past self. It can be painful but it’s the only way to let your awesome, present self shine through!

      • Amy @ More Time Than Money October 13, 2018 at 7:17 pm

        I accidentally deleted one of my two “to-read” lists. I was gutted at the time, but it’s been the best thing. The list was way too long. Now if I see something I fancy, I just order it from the library. If I don’t get round to reading it them, oh well. There was a lot I thought I should read, but really wasn’t what I felt like reading.

  • Tread Lightly, Retire Early October 10, 2018 at 5:18 pm

    I’ve done a pretty good job of letting go of the makeup and clothes, but books and relationships are HARD.

    • Britt October 10, 2018 at 6:24 pm

      Its so interesting how different people deal with decluttering different categories of stuff! I found books very easy to get rid of, same with clothes.

      • Tread Lightly, Retire Early October 10, 2018 at 8:22 pm

        Books have been THE hardest for me, hands down. But as a little girl I dreamed of a Belle-like library, so there’s that.

  • Leigh October 9, 2018 at 10:20 am

    I love this! Was it helpful to write? I try to remember the good times I had with the clothes that don’t fit anymore! I recently parted with the top I wore on my first date and first dating anniversary with my husband. I loved the top so much, but it hasn’t fit in a couple years. I let myself store stuff for a couple years before parting with it, but it’s still so hard sometimes.

    I hate eyeliner so much! Mostly getting it off. It is so annoying to get off!

    • Britt October 9, 2018 at 5:55 pm

      Thanks, Leigh! It was very cathartic that’s for sure. I like the idea of remembering the good times you had with an item – I feel those memories the most with my books and some pieces of clothing.

      P.S. I’m glad you hate eyeliner too!

      Thanks for reading!

    Hey! I'm Britt. I write about living a tiny, simple, intentional life. Because life doesn't need to be lived big.